Looking for a therapist “near me”
I am learning about Google searches these days as I plan out advertising strategies for my work. Over and above all other keyword combinations is the general search for a therapist, psychotherapist, or counsellor “near me”. Depending on where you live, and Google’s mood, you may or may not find me. But finding me is not necessarily what you need. Several times a month, clients find me, only to realize they are looking for someone else.
I suspect, for too many, the exhausting search halts the process before it has a chance to begin.
Let me help you to refine your search with 3 TIPS to finding the BEST therapist for you. Also consider, with the advent of online therapy, you may not even need to find a therapist “near you”.
Focus on your particular concerns
Add some keywords to your search in order to find a therapist who specializes with your concern (eg. depression, anxiety, stress, relationship trouble, communication, marriage, identity issues, infidelity and affairs, parenting, grief, guilt, trauma, couples or individual therapy…)Determine what service is required
Some benefits providers require “psychological supervision”. This service tends to cost more in order to pay the supervising psychologist’s fee. Some benefits providers require therapists to be “Registered Psychotherapists”. Some leaves-of-absence require certain treatments (eg. CBT treatment is often required/preferred for treatment of depression).
These first two steps will narrow down your search to a specialist with more training and experience related to your concerns.Shop around
Therapists are well aware that research points to “the therapeutic relationship” (ie. a good fit) as the single greatest determining factor to successful outcomes in therapy. That is why many therapists offer a free 15-30 minute consultation. Therapists want to be successful in their work, and so finding a suitable fit is in their best interest too. Consider reaching out to at least 3 therapists. Find someone you can relax with. Find someone relatable. You will not regret this investment in the process.
Bonus Shortcut
Call a clinic: Some clinics employ a team of therapists representing a variety of experience, training, and specializaiton. Intake staff are trained to match your concerns with an experienced specialist. They can also help to guide you through questions about benefits coverage. Some clinics offer the option to meet with several therapists.
Good luck on your search!
Be sure to reach out if you would like to meet. You can book a free online consultation following the link below.
Hell is Other People
“Hell is other people”
We assume that Sartre means that everyone else is awful. We should set our expectations low and keep our distance. But for Sartre, hell is established by none other than our very self, captive to and captivated by the objectifying impulse of others. Hell is other people insomuch as we inhabit judgment.
And Sartre warns, there is “no exit”. We are subject to judgment.
We will try to escape. And yet, in our determination to rid ourselves of the problematic other, we only find ourselves an accomplice to the very hell we contest.
“I can’t live with or without you”
Will this hell be our end? Or might this fiery domain of judgement bare forth new potentials. Mercy? Forgiveness? Understanding? … those prospects which conceive meaning and worth in the very places of suffering, and which finally bring us into contact with a most dreadful but nonetheless beloved “other” …our inmost self.
Hell is other people … but it is also salvation … and you are worth the journey.
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
Breathe
Hold your breath.
Wait.
Wait some more.
Give it another moment.
Do you feel the tension... in your lungs? Now in your chest? In your shoulders? Eventually in your arms, in your legs, in your head, and in your whole body. The pressure is building.
Wait.
What happened?
You gave in. You’re breathing. All at once…. gasping! You’re overcome by this physiological reflex… because you’re alive. Your breath is a vital sign.
And so are your tears. You might hold them back. You might refuse them for a moment, a season… persistently.
Your tears returned… inconveniently… uncontrollably….by surprise… in a burst of feeling... unwelcomed.
This is not a sign of breakdown. This is a vital sign.
“All I do know is as we age, the weight of our unsorted baggage becomes heavier. With each passing year, the price of our refusal to do that sorting rises higher and higher. Long ago, the defenses I built to withstand the stress of my childhood, to save what I had of myself, outlived their usefulness, and I’ve become an abuser of their once lifesaving powers.
I relied on them wrongly to isolate myself, seal my alienation, cut me off from life, control others, and contain my emotions to a damaging degree. Now the bill collector is knocking, and his payment will be in tears.”
How to Fail
“Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die ”
We want…
the success without the failure,
the joy without the sadness,
the security without the risk,
the patience without the frustration,
the intimacy without the antagonism,
the pleasure without the disappointment.
And there appears no shortage of expert advice to encourage us along a path to obtain all of these. But eventually, in this frenetic pursuit of success, we forget how to live…
with failure,
with sadness,
with risk,
with frustration,
with antagonism,
with disappointment.
We hope success will mean averting all of these, but our skillful escape distances us from the very matters of life which contract hope. A “successful” life costs more than we realize. The cost is indeed more than any earnest vitality can afford.
Sooner or later we hope there is more to life than “success”. Sooner or later, we return to the problematic and yet crucial growth edge of life with a newfound affinity for failure, sadness, risk, frustration, antagonism, and disappointment. We intuit a confidence that these will achieve for us a reward that far outweighs their trouble. In consenting to our personal trouble, our hope renews. We’re ready to be complete …even when it means learning how to fail.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”