My therapist needs a therapist... and that's no lie!
Transcript:
It's getting to the end of February and the days are much brighter again. Every year at around this time i also welcome back a brightness to my emotion. I don't notice it so much on the other end of the season as I'm lulled into a somber winter sleep.
It's so gradual that on on most days I don't realize how difficult the winter has been, and how much i miss being more happy. Dr. Elvin Semrad taught the the sources of human suffering are the lies we tell ourselves, and he insisted: people never heal without knowing what they know and feeling what they feel.
Now he's not saying that that people suffer because they go about life with a deliberate dishonesty, but he's saying that hardship and trouble can lull us into a numbness. And to not feeling emotional pain that's still there, and into ignoring trouble we know has happened to us.
Now, numbing and ignoring, may be what got us through a very hard season, and that's good. Sometimes that's the only way through. But if we keep numbing, and if we keep ignoring what hurts, parts of ourselves are held back. And this is where the lie is.
A denial of our fullest self. We're not able to fully show up emotionally. We're not able to fully show up in our relationships. And we suffer. The trouble is it's hard to feel what we've adapted to not feeling, and to know what we've spent so long forgetting.
It's like a winter has gradually come over us and it's hard to remember. Well it's winter, what we were like in the summer. May not even feel like a winter suffering until in retrospect we've had the renewing experience of a summer again.
This emotional deception or or lie as Semrad insists is something I experience just as much as anyone else. And for me sitting down with a therapist has been so helpful in allowing me to fully reconnect with myself; to feel what I feel, and to know what I know.
To see what healing can come to hurt so that it can finally be left behind. Every season surprises me with a lie and a suffering that's waiting for retirement. And so i look forward to seeing my therapist this season and I look forward to fully reconnecting with myself.
And I hope you do, too.
